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XX: "Oh, dear! My beloved husband! Please go die in the fields of Flanders to save me from being raped and your daughter eaten alive by the evil Huns!" XY: "How selfish can you be, bitch? Equal rights for women, yes? If we gotta have a war, how about we take turns? You can go first. I'll babysit the kid. Lemme get a beer from the frig."[2]
Males have been socially conditioned to imagine they need (or just want) to discharge their semen into women's vaginas. So the women threaten the males with an ultimatum: 𝄆 You can't have it unless you go to war to save us from Evil Monsters [unstated: where a lot of you will die and a lot more of you will get wounded]. See how frail we are! The Evil Monsters will impale our weak bodies with their 20 foot lances like shish kebabs and eat your children if you don't slay them! And we will swoon all over those of you who have slain the Evil Monsters and prevailed [unstated: survived and with your genitals intact], and let you into our beds [unstated which latter, of course, your paychecks bought]. And who are these Evil Monsters? Your fellow males, your drinking buddies, on the other side of the war who have been socially conditioned to imagine they need (or just want) to discharge their semen into women's vaginas. So their women threaten those males with an ultimatums: You can't have it unless you go to war [unstated: where a lot of you will die and a lot more of you will get wounded]. See how frail we are! The Evil Monsters will impale our weak bodies with their 20 foot lances like shish kebabs and eat your children if you don't slay them! And we will swoon all over those of you who have slain the Evil Monsters and prevailed [unstated: survived and with their genitals intact], and let you into our beds [unstated: which latter, of course, your paychecks bought]). And who are these Evil Monsters? We men, their drinking fellows, whose women threaten us with an ultimatum: 𝄇
Isn't the obvious solution for the men on both sides to get smart and satisfy their biological urges by buggering each other in the enforced gender apartheid public nudity of their respective barracks and thereby show all the women they're not buying it, that the game is not worth the candle and they can keep their precious vaginas to themselves unless they want to play nice. As Henny Youngman's old joke went (from imperfect memory): "Your money or your wife!" "Take her."
Helen of Troy? Who? Ah, Odysseus! That bitch was the real Trojan horse, wasn't she? In more ways than one, Achilles. She was one of those damned Sirens, if you ask me. Hey guys, let's go drink some wine and listen to Homer sing us a tale, men.
Aside: If there was a truly just war I would want to serve the right side (which is always our side, of course) in a desk job at military headquarters. But I would still try my best to prevent my country from foolishly throwing away a valuable national asset: my mind, to requisition 129 pounds of hamburger meat. And I hope if I saw something I would say something even if it was contrary to national policy.
 The Judas Goats lead the sheep to slaughter. |
 UConn female basketball athlete gone berzerk with school spirit (which could convert, presumably, into: patriotism)! This young lady has lost her mind no matter what her testosterone and estrogen levels. Shame on American academia for doing this to a child! |
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